Enfim......vou viajar amanhã......pro Paraná........eu não queria muito ir, mas também não queria ficar aqui em casa........sei lá......this is my temple.......this is where i live.....and love..........

Agora só vou poder bloggar na terça feira........e só vou poder falar com o Drew na terça tb.......*sigh*.......he’s so sweet.........hehehehehehe.......mas......humpf......

O q escrever agora????........nada de bom aconteceu durante todos esses dias.......eu passo mais tempo em frente a tv e em frente ao PC q fazendo algo de útil.......eu precisava fazer algo de útil.........

O forum ta meio dead........nada de bom ta acontecendo por lá.........ontem finalmente eu consegui mandar um email pra Kim........mas hoje o email já voltou.......anyway.......

Eh, eu sei, não tenho nada de muito importante.......só um bando de baboseiras sobre a minha unmeaningful life.........

What the heck is going on with me???........I’m untrusting persons that I shouldn’t.......but I can’t help it........I really can’t.......WHY, GOD, WHY????............

I still have some uncomfortable thoughts about what happened some months ago………here in my house…..I cannot give anyone the dirty details about lives that aren’t mine…….I cannot put people’s lives on the wheel just because of my suspicious…….

But this is creeping me out…….I still don’t know that I heard all the truth about every single thing I saw…….and I cannot put myself in the middle of anyone’s problem…..but that’s definitely killing me……..

Should I ask for someone’s advice on this???………I don’t think so…..if you had to break someone’s heart or tell this person the whole truth what would you do???……..and I cannot help what I see………every day………

It’s quite peaceful round here……it’s quite normal………I’m not into my Karen’s behavior………but sometimes I whish I could got into this…….break everything……tell people some truth………

Sometimes I think that everyone thinks I cannot deal with my own life……you might find it very funny, but today I got all asleep because of that……I was thinking about me not having some kind of freedom for my own………

People tend to think that I’m too stupid to be strength and handle with some problems…..do you want to know what is more funny???……I handle with all my problems by myself……they assume my happiness…….they assume I don’t have no problems, because, why should I have anyway????………I don’t have to raise a child………or maintain a family………

ALL CRAP!……I do have my own problems……..and my own fears……like everyone……

And of my three days trip I turned it into a whole drama………that’s all I do every single time………why am I with all this mixed feelings???……..some things that I cannot define at all!………because I can’t…………I should be doing what everyone on my age does………should be happy with the new fresh year coming…….and that could change my life………

I’m trying to do some resolutions for the new year………like trying to keep my promises for myself………eat healthily………do more exercises………maybe some yoga………who knows????………

Like Ed says, ‘we’re looking for some places out of the kitchen’…….this might means nothing to you…….but it sure does for me………like…………if I were gay, I should go out of the closet………but of course, I’m not gay(stupid comparison I made for myself, but maybe it will give a clue of what I’m talking about!), but I have to stop hiding myself from my own fears……

It’s all about fears………all about fears………and for be extremely truth with you, it’s all about my stunning ego………isn’t it????…………that’s why I have this fucking blog anyway………

Yeah I’ll be away for three days………and despite all this whole stupid thing that is wrote above……I wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR……


Before I go, I have to tell you that my life has been the best since the beginning of this year……..I couldn’t have found the most incredible people like I did………I haven’t felt this good since I decided to be where I am right now………

I have the best parents………the best friends…………the best lover (even not being here!) I could find………understanding me or not, this is what I am……….this is how I live………I might complain too much, but I need that……to put out all my demons……it’s necessary………

I’m a quite difficult person to handle…………I know………and my English is soooooooooo terrible………I know that too………but when I need to say something that I’m too shy to tell in Portuguese I use this stupid I learned from myself………besides I give some shots with it………

And, no I haven’t forgotten my Little And Special Sweet Angel………should I say to him, HAPPY NEW YEAR????………I guess………this is all about you anyway……that why I live and breathe and wake up every day………because inside of me I have something crazy called Love……..and for Love I do anything at all………this pic I’m seeing from you right now is perfect…….besides you were with a wonderful smile yesterday………am I dreaming that you will really gonna read it????………perhaps…………but I still believe and I’ll never give up of my hopes………you are very far right now, but you’re still inside of me……….at least on my thoughts………… hope you have a wonderful new year………that the next won’t bring bad surprises like this one brought for us…………and you are blessed………with something called : Joy Of Life……….this is all I can give for you…………I hope you can understand my reasons and ways…………I cannot do anything but this……….hope someday I can do more………for you…………WITH MUCH LOVE FROM THE BOTTLE OF MY HEART………………

Kisses

Chica